


I want my heart back (Larry Stylinson)

by biggibajba



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, NOW i'm done, ain't it cute?, hah .., humour too btw, idek, lots lots lots of angst, okay, okay i'm done, okay sorreh, this isn't exactly AU but somehow is..?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 06:10:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biggibajba/pseuds/biggibajba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson is gone.</p><p>He disappeared.</p><p>Gone.</p><p>What he didn't know was that he took Harry Styles' heart with him, leaving him broken.</p><p>Harry loves Louis, still does.</p><p>But everything's so cold and hurts.</p><p>Three years later, all he wants is his heart back, preferably with Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I want my heart back (Larry Stylinson)

**Author's Note:**

> This is angsty. Somewhat happy, and there will be fluffy momentzzz. This is my first story here on AO3, okayy? Deal with it. Anyways, hope you like it and give me feedback cx 
> 
> See ya, suckas.

Harry puts down the blade, blood is slowly rolling down his wrists and down onto the white sink, now covered with crimson liquid. The relieving high moment of the process is slowly fading away, and with that comes the pain stronger than before, the numbness kicking in again, making able to only feel the unbearable pain.  
  
He hates it. He hates how a miserable state he's in. He hates the pain and the numbness. He hates how it's all just because  _he_ left. But that isn't Harry's fault. After all,  _he_ did steal Harry's heart, making it flutter of love and happines, only to  _rip_  it out in the most painful to leave him to die slowly inside.  
  
He lifts up the blade to once again let it break his skin in the most beautiful way. Cutting it open in a perfect line, the skin being parted and blood pouring out, making a perfect contrast of the crimson red against his pale skin. As he again and again make those beautiful, perfect cuts that leaves him high and free, memories flow through his mind and he once again relives the same memories yet again.  
  
=====++=====  
  
 _“Hazza!”_  
  
 _Harry grinned as he looked up to meet the gorgeous blue eyes of Louis'. Louis always manages to bring a smile to Harry's lips, even if he's in a depressed state._  
  
 _“Hey Loubear,”_ _he smiled up at the smaller boy. Harry's was currently sitting in a chair, Louis' glasses on and reading a book, and that allowed Louis to look down on him, of course not in a mean way, just like he likes._  
  
 _Louis pouted while glaring playfully at the curly haired boy in front of him. “D_ _on't call me that, Hazzabear.”_  
  
 _Harry chuckled, looking at him with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. One would have to be blind not to see the boy's feelings. And apperantly, Louis is blind._  
  
  
 _“You call me Hazzabear, so I'm allowed to,”_ _Harry chuckled, “_ _or would you rather have me call you Boobear?”_ _Louis whined. Then suddenly, Louis wasn't standing in front of Harry, he was sitting in his lap, on one leg while his side is pressed against Harry's stomach and he laid his head on Harry's shoulder. Harry's heart was beating fast and loudly and he was surprised Louis hadn't noticed. A slight blush was also apperant on his cheeks. He wrapped an arm around Louis' waist, laying his head on Louis'._  
  
 _“Love you, Harry.”_ _Harry smiled a breathtaking smile, his heart jumping in joy, but also aching because he knows Louis means those wonderful and cruel words in another way than Harry wants him to. Still, he replied with all of his feelings, and once again Louis didn't notice a thing. But he's there, and for now, that's enough._  
  
 _“I love you too, Louis.”_  
  
 _=====++=====_  
  
Louis lied. He didn't love Harry. He left him like he was a piece of crap, like he was nothing, it had been so easy for him. No goodbye, no warning, no notes, absolutely nothing. One Direction must have meant an awful lot to him.  
  
Harry slashes at his skin two, three more times before putting down the blade once again. He lets his arm just loozily hang over the sink, letting the blood drip onto it, coloring it even more red than it already was. It was somehow calming for Harry to watch as the blood began as just dark, red drops against the white, but then slowly turns into a big red spot that looks so beautiful Harry would stare for hours.  
  
He know it's not healthy, but what else can he do? The pain won't go away, not even for a moment, if he doesn't cut. Cutting gives him an escape, a momentarily moment of no pain, no worries and no Louis. Louis isn't coming back. Three years. Three years since he lost his heart and love. He lost his ability to smile, to care, to  _live_. Louis took that with him.  
  
Why did Louis leave? Were they not good enough, perhaps? Were they only four other guys that he sang alongside with? Were they only bricks in his game? Because he'd played them, alright. He'd made them think he thought of them as brothers, as best friends, as family. Obviously, that wasn't the case.  
  
=====++=====  
  
 _“Oi, Styles!”_  
  
 _Harry turned to Zayn, curious as to why the Bradford boy had interrupted his talk with Liam. It better be important._  
  
 _Zayn smirked, and he stepped aside to show Louis, who was smiling wide and walked towards Harry - and Liam but that's just because he's sitting with Harry._  
  
 _“Oh Harry,”_ _Louis sighed, dramatically with a grin._ “ _it took me so long to realise...”_ _Harry's heart had sped up and the hope flared up inside. He stared at Louis, waiting for him continure, to maybe give him what he and his heart wants. But that wasn't the case. Louis had decided to play a cruel joke on him, without realising he's ripping Harry apart._  
  
 _“... that my love for sandwich will never die, and I would love for you to make me one?”_  
  
 _The sentence ended as a question and Louis stared at him with puppy eyes, a sidegrin on his face. Harry's face crumbled - as Zayn's face had turned to shock and anger, he had thought Louis would ask Harry something entirely else - but only for a second. Long enough for Louis and the boys to notice, but only two out of three knowing why. Louis didn't ask, however. He wanted a sandwich._  
  
 _Harry forced a smile and he stood up from the chair he was sitting in. He bit back a sob and blinked away tears._  
  
 _“I would love to, Louis,”_ _he said, his voice slightly cracking, but he rushed off before Louis could question it. Once inside the kitchen, Harry let himself cry. He curled up on the floor with his back against the bench, and he cried. His body racked with sobs and he let his tears shamelessly fall. He could barely hear Zayn yell at Louis,_  
  
 _“You bloody idiot!”_  
  
 _=====++=====_  
  
 _“So, caller number fifteen, you're on with One Direction.”_  
  
 _The boys smiled at each other as another crazed fan's voice came on in the radio studio where the boys are currently being interviewed. It's always fun answering the fans' questions, because they get to know what's going on with them and what they're wondering, and also if something's false set them straight. In a polite way, of course._  
  
 _“Omg, omg, I can't believe this! Anyways, big fan here, hi, oh! The question, right; Is Larry Stylinson just a bromance or is it something more?”_  
  
 _This is actually the first time they've been asked this by a fan, live in an interview. Harry's eyes had brightened up because at least someone out there knew his feelings, they saw the innocent signs he sent out, not on purpose of course._  
  
 _“It's just a bromance, sweetie. I love Harry, but as a brother,” Louis replied, smiling dorkily, and shaking his head. It was like he was thinking, 'why would they even think that?' Harry's face had changed to hurt and sad, depressed and just a look that should never be on Harry's face, but again, in only a moment, a moment so little no one except three knowing guys noticed. They had turned to him, expecting him to back it up, even Louis._  
  
 _Harry forced a laugh and a smile, forcing the words, “Yeah, I don't love Louis that way, he's like my brother.”_  
  
 _Anyone who would look in his eyes could see his pain and heartbreak. Harry's last bit of hope had just been killed, and Harry just lost his light._  
  
=====++=====  
  
  
  
Harry couldn't blame Louis, though. Who would want to love  _him_? He's gay, for crying out loud. He has awful curls that won't listen to him when he wants to do something with him, he has zits all over his face and he's pale. He doesn't have abs, nor muscles. Harry, he has  _fat_. He's an ugly human being. It's a wonder he's alive.   
  
He has considered taking his life, but his thoughts had then drifted off to Liam, Zayn and Niall.  _They_ hadn't left him, they had held him tight when Louis had gone. They had told him they loved him, as brothers, as family. He knew they meant it, he could see it in his eyes, but it wasn't the kind of love Harry needed. He needed Louis, and for him to love him the way Harry loves him. Though that won't happen, right? Louis had left him. Left him the day right after he'd said to Harry,  
  
 _“I'll never leave you, Harry.”_  
  
Well, he fucking did. He left Harry, he left him broken and heartless, because he had taken Harry's heart with him. And no one can live without a heart, right? Harry's dead inside, he's broken and in pain, all he wants is his heart back. Preferable with Louis.  
  
 **But that won't happen, right?**


End file.
